Hey, hey, hey! My name is Oreo. You want to play? I want to play. Have you seen my toy? About the length of my tail and looks like a lamb. I love my toy! Goes by the name toy or puppy.
(Editor’s note: Once we calmed Oreo down, we got much better answers to our questions.)
What do you like to do for fun? I like walks, running, sniffing, snow, and sitting on Ellie. I love car rides, but I usually have to ride in the backseat. I always call shotgun, but I don’t always get my way. I really love going to Daddy’s parent’s house, so I can play with their dogs, Winston and Shelby. I get so excited when I visit. I wear them out even though they’re younger than me.
How do you like your newest sister, Ellie? I wasn’t too sure about her at first. She teases me by stealing my toy, but I get her back when we go for walks by running really fast by her. A little dog chicken, if you will. As much as we tease each other, you can often find us snuggling. And if one of us has a nightmare, we always check on the other one. Shhh…don’t tell her I said that.
What about the cats? Cats? You mean the fur balls that run around the house. They don’t have any manners. I mean. Running in the house? Please. I save my running skills for outside.
What do you like most about Daddy? He’s such a goof. He tries to catch me when we’re outside. I bark at him and run around him. He thinks I’m playing, but I’m actually telling him to not watch me go potty. Geeeez. It’s called privacy, people. I do like sleeping in the bed with him. He makes sure I have plenty of room. Oh, and he likes to rough house with me. That’s always fun!
What do you like most about Mama? She gives the best massages. I kind of just flop over and zone out. I’ll nudge her hand if she stops too soon though. She’s like Daddy: silly. I mean who else picks up a 50 pound dog and dances with him/her? I only know one crazy lady who does that and that’s Mama. I’m more of a Daddy’s girl, but Mama is always there to calm me during a thunderstorm or encourage me to go up the stairs. I hear some other dogs protect their humans. That’s just silly. They’re there to protect us.
What do you like about children, like our cousins? You mean the large, fur less cats? Yeah. They’re ok. I kind of ignore them unless they smell particularly good. Then, I might sniff them. Other dogs might lick, but I’m just a sniffer. I do like back rubs, so if they’re game for that, that’s awesome. Cousin S pulled on my tail once, and I was like, “Dude, no.” I just stood there and made sad eyes at my human mom before she showed him how to pet me. It was one of those moments I thought of all the one liners after the fact and once it was too little too late. Don’t ya hate that?
Do you think you’d like having a human baby in the house? Can I sniff him/her? Sure. Can I still sleep on the couch and go for walks? Of course. Sounds good to me!
*Translated as best as we can from dog groans and tail wags.