October 15

Not sure what it is, but I’ve been so tired this week. But, I couldn’t let the week end without updating y’all on our journey!

Tuesday, I had my first baseline ultrasound and bloodwork for this cycle. All is “quiet” which is what we want at the beginning of a cycle. I’ll start estrogen tomorrow and have another monitoring appointment next week. If all goes well, our last embryo, Pumbaa,

will be transferred on November 7, and we’ll find out mid-November if Pumbaa will be our second child.

On Sunday, it hit me how bittersweet Tuesday would be. It has so many memories, anniversaries, etc. attached to it.

October is the month our baby that we miscarried in 2014 would have been born. I don’t remember the due date, because honestly, that was never discussed. It was that early. But, Tuesday was also National Pregnancy & Infant Loss day. Many of my friends post about their loss and light a candle to create a Wave of Light.

It also marked the one year anniversary of Emma’s adoption finalization. We wouldn’t find out for two more days, but it was official on October 15. It’s also the day Emma gained a Godmother, a woman that has more of my heart than she could imagine.

I don’t suspect we’ll ever celebrate this day in any official capacity, but I want to believe that all of this isn’t coincidence. That it’ll somehow make it into part of our story. Is it wishful thinking? Possibly. Maybe even probably. But, I don’t care. I’ll hold onto this hope for me. For Chris. For Emma. For our family. For our donors.

Best Future Big Sister

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