Big decisions…

I had a post all ready to go, but a few things have changed in the last week. The holidays are always busy, and I kept putting off posting. It was too late at night or the post just didn’t seem finished. I imagined some of you would think it was a little bitter. Maybe I was.

While I’m a planner at heart, I didn’t want to have to plan anymore. I really wanted our donor embryos to be our babies. To be content. To be focused on a tangible future. Not just grasping at straws to build our family.

Maybe the holidays have taken the focus away from all the what if’s of the future. Maybe it’s hope from an unexpected connection. Maybe I’ve become accustomed to the unknown. Maybe I’m more content with perpetually planning the future than I’d like to admit.

Ultimately, I want at least one more child. And as much as I call myself a realist, I must still be a dreamer. I still imagine it’s all possible despite all the disappointment we’ve experienced.

We’re still exploring our options. We’re basically in the gathering information stage. We hope that one path will stand out. We’ve been down this road before, so we basically know what we’re considering. However, some details and requirements can change with time. Thankfully, Chris and I have been on the same page. I can’t imagine what this would be like if we weren’t.

So, no answers. For now. And, that’s ok.

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