NIAW 2020-Day 5

Today is the last photo challenge day of National Infertility Awareness Week. The theme, Show Your Resolve, kind of threw me off for a minute. I didn’t feel like I had resolved anything related to infertility.

Our childlessness was resolved through adoption. We did become parents. To be able to adopt in a healthy way, we needed to mourn that we would never have a genetic child. And, we did. I also had to mourn that I would never carry a child. I feel like I mourned that connection with a child, but maybe didn’t fully mourn the missed experiences. I would never be able to relate to pregnancy complaints, cravings, nesting, labor, birthing, breastfeeding, etc.

My feelings are often discounted. “You didn’t miss anything.” “Pregnancy is horrible.” “You got a child the easy way.”

Nothing about our journey has been easy!

Emotionally. Physically. Financially. It’s been different. But, not “easy.”

In many ways, I’d be ok not experiencing pregnancy. To miss out on those shared experiences, but I have not resolved myself to being the mother to only one child. I want to be the mother to at least 2 children (more, if possible). That’s the pain I carry around.

As we continue to pursue embryo adoption, we hope to have a shorter wait time and less expense to achieving the family we’ve always imagined. Pregnancy is just the cherry on top to growing our family. COVID-19 will more than likely delay our dreams, but they won’t be canceling them.

NIAW 2020-Day 2

Over the years, one thing I’ve noticed about most of the fertility challenged men and woman I’ve met is that most are animal lovers, especially dogs. We are no exception!

For us, we currently have 4 pets. 2 dogs. 2 cats. We rescued Ellie (top right) during our first year of trying to conceive when it was becoming clear that becoming parents wasn’t going to be easy.

All our fur babies bring us so much comfort. From snuggles on the couch. To laughs from their crazy antics.

NIAW 2020-Day 1

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week! While I share our story throughout the year, I hope that you’ll learn something new this week, reach out to a friend experiencing infertility, or maybe even share your own story. This journey can be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be.

#NIAW #NIAW2020 #HonorYourStory #MyInfertilityStory

•7 IUIs
•2 fresh IVFs
•1 FET
•2 donor FETs
•3 donor embryos on ice waiting for us

Sometimes our journey seems like nothing but numbers and statistics. Cold and irrelevant, at times. They’re numbers that mean everything and nothing. Our past failure doesn’t necessarily determine our future success. They don’t tell you about the heartache of months and years of wondering if we’d be parents. I can’t even count how many shots, blood draws, or internal ultrasounds I’ve had over the years. Numbers don’t show you how much we love our daughter who came to us through adoption.

As hard as this journey has been, I know that I’m stronger and better for it. You may think that it is easy to say that now that we are (theoretically) on the other side, but I was saying it the midst of all the heartache. Here is an old post, but it’s still a goodie. There can still be beauty in the midst of despair.

Hey! Remember Us?

We’re in the process of matching with a new donor family and hope to share more with you soon. But, for now, watch these two cuties explain embryo donation in the sweetest way possible. ❤️

Happy New Year!

We hope the holidays have treated everyone well! I’m sick most NYEs, and this year is no different. 😥 But, we’re looking forward to a new year and new possibilities. We appreciate our family, friends, and followers for sticking with us on this journey.

With the holidays, our research has been slowed somewhat. But, I know the answers will come at the right time.

Happy New Year and stay safe! ❤️

Big decisions…

I had a post all ready to go, but a few things have changed in the last week. The holidays are always busy, and I kept putting off posting. It was too Continue reading “Big decisions…”

*Deep breath*

We’re not pregnant.

This was always a possibility. We were given Continue reading “*Deep breath*”

The moment has come…

Wow! I’ve been unintentionally quiet. The medicine I’m taking makes me so tired, and motivation is hard to come by. We transferred our last donor embryo, Pumbaa, two weeks ago. Today, Continue reading “The moment has come…”

Injections are coming…

Yesterday, I had my last ultrasound and bloodwork before our transfer. The estrogen patches have helped thicken up my uterine lining. Hopefully, it’s a nice cushy place for Pumbaa to burrow.

Today, I’ll be having my first progesterone injection. And, I’m really hoping it’s the first of many. If Pumbaa “sticks,” I’ll have about 10 weeks of injections. It’s a necessary evil to maintain a pregnancy when transferring embryos.

Plan Z…

Thursday, I had my second ultrasound and bloodwork done for this cycle. Our fertility doctor was a little nervous my estrogen was Continue reading “Plan Z…”