Yesterday, I had my last ultrasound and bloodwork before our transfer. The estrogen patches have helped thicken up my uterine lining. Hopefully, it’s a nice cushy place for Pumbaa to burrow.
Today, I’ll be having my first progesterone injection. And, I’m really hoping it’s the first of many. If Pumbaa “sticks,” I’ll have about 10 weeks of injections. It’s a necessary evil to maintain a pregnancy when transferring embryos.
Thursday, I had my second ultrasound and bloodwork done for this cycle. Our fertility doctor was a little nervous my estrogen was Continue reading “Plan Z…”
Not sure what it is, but I’ve been so tired this week. But, I couldn’t let the week end without Continue reading “October 15”
From starting “this” process all over.
Oddly, there’s some comfort in the routine of doctor’s visits and medicine schedules.
But, the “what-ifs” are getting Continue reading “One week out…”
Our next cycle is on the calendar. Every appointment. Every medicine.
It’s real. It’s happening.
And, I’m excited!
Our last remaining embryo, Pumbaa, will most likely be transferred on November 7. My first appointment to kick this cycle off won’t be until October 15. So, we have a little calm before the “storm.”
Our fertility doctor did make one small change to my protocol. I’ll be taking my antiobiotic earlier in the cycle followed by probiotics. No biggy.
For fun, I decided to see when Pumbaa would be born if he/she makes it to the baby stage…it would be July 25. That’s the day we transferred Timon. It wasn’t planned that way. It just happened. And, I so hope this is a sign.
The time has come! Tomorrow, I have an appointment to schedule our next embryo transfer. We have a few things to work around, but we’re thinking we’ll transfer in October or November. But, honestly I’m just hoping it’s the RIGHT timing. Whatever it ends up being 🤷🏼♀️
I’ll try to update y’all tomorrow on when we’ll be starting and any changes in the protocol. I don’t expect any, but you never know. We’re excited to see if Pumbaa, our last frozen embryo, will be the one to make us parents again. But, we’re definitely having a lot of “what if” conversations lately. Those can be really hard, but we’re hoping and praying that they’ll all be for nothing, and we’ll be having Baby #2 in Summer 2020 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
I was really hesitate to start watching the first season, because shows tend to get so much wrong with adoption. But, I was hearing a lot of good things, so I wanted to give it a try. We ended up watching it after Emma joined our family last year, and I cried almost every episode. There were a lot of painful (but, thought-provoking) things to watch as an adoptive mother. The show is a portrayal of one family, but I connected with it even when I didn’t always agree with each character’s decisions and actions. I’m looking at you, Rebecca! I do wonder how some of those actions are viewed by people with zero first hand experience with adoption.
We’re currently binge watching the second and third seasons before the fourth season airs later this month. So excited!
As the days pass, my hopefulness is coming back and dominating my emotions. This is typical. At least for me. It’s more a pattern at this point. One I haven’t Continue reading “Hopefulness…”
Grief is weird. We all have past experiences that shape who we are today. But, grief has done the most to change me personally.
I’ve walked this journey before. I’ve had to face Continue reading “Grief”
And, I’ve put it off all day.
I’m not pregnant.
Three simply words. A whole heck of a lot of emotion behind them. Timon will always be in our hearts, but he/she won’t be our rainbow baby, unfortunately.
When I got the call yesterday, I managed to stay composed enough that the fertility doctor thought I must have done a home pregnancy test and likely knew I wasn’t pregnant. But, really…I knew if I started I wouldn’t stop. Once I got off, I crumbled, emotionally and physically. It’s the most emotional I’ve been during this process. The disappointment made my body physically hurt, and I had the unfortunate task of telling Chris and our donors. Heartbreaking.
The somewhat good news is that my estrogen and progesterone levels were perfect for Timon to survive. But, again, bad luck seemed to play a role.
While we will be grieving this unique loss, we have a rough plan to transfer our final embryo in the next few months. No definite dates. No timeline. And, as much as that hurts this planner’s heart, we need time to mourn.
We’ll continue to be open, because I don’t know how to do this in the shadows any longer. We appreciate everyone’s love, prayers, positive thoughts, and baby dust. It made the world of difference to us, even though things didn’t go as we had hoped. Thank you for being on this journey through the highs and lows.