The time has come! Tomorrow, I have an appointment to schedule our next embryo transfer. We have a few things to work around, but we’re thinking we’ll transfer in October or November. But, honestly I’m just hoping it’s the RIGHT timing. Whatever it ends up being 🤷🏼♀️
I’ll try to update y’all tomorrow on when we’ll be starting and any changes in the protocol. I don’t expect any, but you never know. We’re excited to see if Pumbaa, our last frozen embryo, will be the one to make us parents again. But, we’re definitely having a lot of “what if” conversations lately. Those can be really hard, but we’re hoping and praying that they’ll all be for nothing, and we’ll be having Baby #2 in Summer 2020 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
As the days pass, my hopefulness is coming back and dominating my emotions. This is typical. At least for me. It’s more a pattern at this point. One I haven’t Continue reading “Hopefulness…”
Grief is weird. We all have past experiences that shape who we are today. But, grief has done the most to change me personally.
I’ve walked this journey before. I’ve had to face Continue reading “Grief”
And, I’ve put it off all day.
I’m not pregnant.
Three simply words. A whole heck of a lot of emotion behind them. Timon will always be in our hearts, but he/she won’t be our rainbow baby, unfortunately.
When I got the call yesterday, I managed to stay composed enough that the fertility doctor thought I must have done a home pregnancy test and likely knew I wasn’t pregnant. But, really…I knew if I started I wouldn’t stop. Once I got off, I crumbled, emotionally and physically. It’s the most emotional I’ve been during this process. The disappointment made my body physically hurt, and I had the unfortunate task of telling Chris and our donors. Heartbreaking.
The somewhat good news is that my estrogen and progesterone levels were perfect for Timon to survive. But, again, bad luck seemed to play a role.
While we will be grieving this unique loss, we have a rough plan to transfer our final embryo in the next few months. No definite dates. No timeline. And, as much as that hurts this planner’s heart, we need time to mourn.
We’ll continue to be open, because I don’t know how to do this in the shadows any longer. We appreciate everyone’s love, prayers, positive thoughts, and baby dust. It made the world of difference to us, even though things didn’t go as we had hoped. Thank you for being on this journey through the highs and lows.
the waiting really begins…
We took a mini vacation last weekend, and much to my surprise, we had NO coverage and spotty WiFi. So, I didn’t get to update y’all at all. 😢
A lot of my “fertility challenged sisters” have been checking on me. I really appreciate each and every one of them. Many of them know the journey we’ve chosen. And, they know better than anyone what may lie ahead.
Many have asked if I will do a home pregnancy test before the blood test on Thursday. I don’t plan to test. I knew being out of town would help with the eagerness. I have tested in the past, but it was a rabbit hole I didn’t want to try this time. So, I know as much as y’all!
Our fertility doctor’s office is out of town, so we are opting to have my bloodwork done locally. This means our results will be delayed until some time Friday. We plan to share the good/bad news with our families at some point on Friday or Saturday followed by sharing here.
Many fertility medications require a strict timing. This had made for some interesting predicaments in past cycles since Chris has given me most of the shots.
The progesterone shots have wiggle room but consistency is the best rule. We chose 9PM as a good time for us. Unfortunately, tonight the electric went out. So, I had my first shot illuminated by the light on my phone. And, the first night I have a new heated pad, I have no electric 🤷🏼♀️ All you can do is laugh!